Sometime this evening, I will be leading a workout routine, along with some wonderful women I met a couple of weeks ago, through REFIT Revolution, in North Carolina. We worked on choreography and recorded several routines. The one they helped me tweak is the routine we will be presenting tonight. Unfortunately, I made a mistake in the original recording, so I recorded it again yesterday.
Now, I consider myself a fairly tech savvy person. Not a tech geek, mind you, but I know my way around the internets (if you don’t get that reference you really need to check out Jon Acuff). Well, apparently I don’t know my way around the privacy settings of Facebook. I tried to share the video clip directly to the Facebook group we’re all in together, but it wasn’t an option from my phone. Not wanting everyone to see it, I selected “Only Me” and then shared it to the group, forgetting that no one would be able to see it.
So I changed it to “Friends” and removed it from my timeline. I didn’t delete it from my timeline, because I wasn’t sure if it would get deleted from our group. I woke up this morning to notifications of likes and encouraging comments. About the video clip. That no one else was supposed to see. I was mortified. But then one comment hit me like a 2 x 4 – “Oh. My. God. You. Are. Amazing!!” It was from my friend, and fellow twin mama (her boys were born the day after mine), Jennifer.
The thing is, I didn’t feel amazing. At all. Not when I was doing the routine – I was thinking about how frumpy I looked and that I probably should have worn workout clothes. Not when I was done with the routine – I was out of breath and longing for the endurance I had before I got pregnant.
As a fitness instructor, I show the utmost respect, concern, care, and encouragement for people who are getting in shape. I constantly remind them to do what they can and extend themselves some grace. But until I read Jennifer’s comment, I hadn’t realized how I wasn’t offering myself the same respect, concern, care, encouragement, or grace.
My body is not the same. Period. It may never get back to the way it was. I have to remind myself of that and be okay with it. I want to strive for better fitness, and better health, but in a manner that does not belittle what my body has already achieved. I need to celebrate my progress – daily. I am going to focus on what I can accomplish, rather than what I was able to accomplish in the past. Comparison is dangerous. Especially when we compare ourselves to a former version of ourselves.
Jennifer’s comment and everything it stirred up in me reminded me that I’m exactly where God wants me to be. At this particular time on my journey to wholeness, I am reading You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth. That’s why when Jennifer told me I was “Amazing” it felt like a nod and a wink from God. I would love for you to join me in reading this awesome book about grace and finding freedom in believing we are who God says we are. Today is the last day to enter the giveaway.