We throw off the lie of perfection and cling to our identity in God as we strive to be whole, healthy, and fit. Our goal is wholeness, not perfection.

Posts tagged ‘grace’

Amateur Juggler (October 4th)

I need to take care of myself.  What does it look like to you to take care of yourself?  There’s basic hygiene, water, nutrition – you know, the basics.  I’m just wondering how other full time working moms take care of themselves.  I remember doing it when my son was a toddler up until the time I got pregnant with the twins.  I did it with the help of having a membership to the Y, and then being a group fitness instructor.  So that kept me accountable because if I didn’t show up to class then class didn’t happen.  But now that I have twins and I’m back at work, I don’t really know what it looks like to take care of myself during this season.

I know sleep is a huge priority (as I yawn).  I know that spending time with God is a priority, but it seems like it’s something I don’t ever get around to, not how I used to, not how I’d like to.  I haven’t worked out in a really long time and I can feel my body craving all the good chemicals I get from working out.  I know I need to go out on a date with my husband.  It feels like it’s been forever since we went somewhere that wasn’t church or with family.

I know there are things I can do to take care of myself, I just don’t see how to juggle it all.  I’m missing margin in my day.  I need white space.  I need…how do you clear things off of your calendar and to-do list when all of the stuff has to be done?  I have a friend of mine at work who used to joke with me “Reina, all you need to do is get yourself a wife.”  All I know is I feel overwhelmed and spent.  So if you’ve got tips or suggestions on how to refocus energy and time, I’d love to hear them.

You’re Already Amazing Monday: Chapter 2

This is my second attempt at recapping Chapter 2.  My first attempt read too much like a middle school book report.  Okay, maybe elementary.  So I’m going to share my personal highlights and takeaways from the chapter.

  • God planted the “Who am I really?” question in our hearts to help us understand who he created us to be.  If we don’t know who he created us to be, then we can’t fulfill the purpose he has for our lives.
  • Knowing who I really am is necessary to love God, others, and myself more.

Strengths

  • A strength is a personal characteristic that can be use on behalf of God in service to others.
  • The three strengths I identified – trustworthy, cheerful, supportive
  • God is the source of my strengths, I am not (Philipians 4:13)
  • When I come up short, I need to focus on who I am in Christ
  • My divinely created strengths are supported by my weaknesses, because if I was good at everything (which I’m not by the way), I wouldn’t focus on much of anything (which is difficult enough already with ADHD, thank you very much)
  • My assets (strengths) can easily become defects if I don’t keep my motives and their intensity in check

Skills

  • A skill is a strength expressed in a specific way that builds up others and benefits the kingdom – NOT the definition I would have given before reading this chapter
  • Mad props to Holley for referencing Napoleon Dynamite and making me giggle
  • The three skills I identified – relating, encouraging, guiding
  • Strengths stay consistent throughout life but the skills that express them can vary depending on the season of life I’m in
  • God wants my heart more than my skills – Thank you, Jesus.  Because some days I feel like a complete failure for not getting enough accomplished.  Or for not being cheerful or supportive enough.

My “Who” and Who I’m Called to Serve

These were my favorite sections of the chapter.  It took me several years to identify my social circles, and My “Who” served as a nice refresher.  This came at the perfect time, since I am returning to work after an extended maternity leave.  I don’t have the opportunity to regularly interact with adults (other than my husband), so remembering that I can’t truly share who I am with everyone there was a timely reminder.  Who I’m Called to Serve was an encouragement to keep striving to work on my dream of serving in ministry full time.

your strengths + your skills + who you’re called to serve

=

you making a difference in the world in your own amazing way

God’s Heart for Who I Really Am

This section made me cry.  Every time I read it.  Growing up, I struggled with being mixed.  I believed that I wasn’t Latina enough because I don’t fluently speak Spanish.  I believed that I wasn’t Black enough, because, well, I don’t look Black.  (I don’t use African American because my family is Caribbean and it just doesn’t fit) I knew that I could pass for being White but didn’t want to.  I wanted to be accepted for the unique person that I am.  I wanted to feel like I belonged.  God healed this particular heartbreak, but reading these words let me see how God has used the break to shine through me.

We are much more than pretty…we are wonderfully made.

We are much more than likeable…we are deeply loved.

We are much more than okay…we are daughters of the King.

I think the enemy tricks us into believing we are not enough because he knows if we discover the truth, we’ll be unstoppable.

Tears.  Tears of joy.  Tears of relief.  Tears of regret over wasted strengths and skills due to fear.  Tears of grace.  But then I wiped away my tears with a renewed sense of determination as I read these closing words:

Girls, let’s stop shaking in our boots and instead start standing tall for him together.

Let’s use our strengths, skills, and relationships to make a  difference.

Let’s be who we are, really.

I can’t do it alone – are you with me?

YES, I am!  How about you?

A Message for Fit Moms

I’m reading You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth (read it and stop by here every Monday to join the conversation) and this paragraph stopped me in my tracks. It couldn’t have come at a more perfect time, because a friend of mine was feeling defeated by a workout she has been doing.

Making progress in life is hard work. When we insist on moving forward as quickly as possible, we can wear ourselves out in a hurry. Sometimes when God makes us wait, it’s one of the most merciful things he can do. It doesn’t inherently mean we’ve done something wrong. In fact, it can indicate just the opposite – that we’re right between some really big things God has for our lives, and we need to rest up.

I shared the paragraph with her and let her know that I can totally relate to wanting to be better/stronger/smaller/more fit/smarter/more experienced/whatever right NOW. It can be difficult, disheartening even, to not make progress at the pace I would prefer. But then God slows me down and I’m able to be grateful for the progress I’ve already made. I can easily forget that I just had babies, because they’re growing so fast. Not to mention what carrying them for 37 weeks did to my body. Our bodies are amazing for enduring what they did to carry and birth children. We (and I’m totally speaking to myself here) need to be patient and loving as we ask our bodies, often force them, to do things that will make them stronger in the long run but hurt right now.

As difficult as it can be, I sometimes like to have to talk to myself as though I’m talking to my 7 year old.  He is every bit the perfectionist that I am, which can lead to frustration and heartache on his part.  And lots of nevers.  Like “I’ll never be good at” this or that.  When these words come out of his mouth I call him over to me, pet and cup his face with my hand, look him straight in the eyes and tell him – “Yet.  You’re not good at it, yet.”

So to my fellow fit moms (moms working on their fitness) I say – be grateful for the ability to do what you can.  Try not to focus on what you used to do or what you can’t do, yet. I’ve found amazing women to walk alongside on my journey – via Facebook, Instagram, and even Twitter – a tribe if you will.  When the lie of perfectionism hisses, we speak truth over one another.  Do you have a tribe of truth speaking, encouraging accountability partners?

Already Amazing

Sometime this evening, I will be leading a workout routine, along with some wonderful women I met a couple of weeks ago, through REFIT Revolution, in North Carolina.  We worked on choreography and recorded several routines.  The one they helped me tweak is the routine we will be presenting tonight.  Unfortunately, I made a mistake in the original recording, so I recorded it again yesterday.

Now, I consider myself a fairly tech savvy person.  Not a tech geek, mind you, but I know my way around the internets (if you don’t get that reference you really need to check out Jon Acuff).  Well, apparently I don’t know my way around the privacy settings of Facebook.  I tried to share the video clip directly to the Facebook group we’re all in together, but it wasn’t an option from my phone.  Not wanting everyone to see it, I selected “Only Me” and then shared it to the group, forgetting that no one would be able to see it.

So I changed it to “Friends” and removed it from my timeline.  I didn’t delete it from my timeline, because I wasn’t sure if it would get deleted from our group.  I woke up this morning to notifications of likes and encouraging comments.  About the video clip.  That no one else was supposed to see.  I was mortified.  But then one comment hit me like a 2 x 4 – “Oh. My. God. You. Are. Amazing!!”  It was from my friend, and fellow twin mama (her boys were born the day after mine), Jennifer.

The thing is, I didn’t feel amazing.  At all.  Not when I was doing the routine – I was thinking about how frumpy I looked and that I probably should have worn workout clothes.  Not when I was done with the routine – I was out of breath and longing for the endurance I had before I got pregnant.

As a fitness instructor, I show the utmost respect, concern, care, and encouragement for people who are getting in shape.  I constantly remind them to do what they can and extend themselves some grace.  But until I read Jennifer’s comment, I hadn’t realized how I wasn’t offering myself the same respect, concern, care, encouragement, or grace.

My body is not the same.  Period.  It may never get back to the way it was.  I have to remind myself of that and be okay with it.  I want to strive for better fitness, and better health, but in a manner that does not belittle what my body has already achieved.  I need to celebrate my progress – daily.  I am going to focus on what I can accomplish, rather than what I was able to accomplish in the past.  Comparison is dangerous.  Especially when we compare ourselves to a former version of ourselves.  

Comparison v Grace

Jennifer’s comment and everything it stirred up in me reminded me that I’m exactly where God wants me to be.  At this particular time on my journey to wholeness, I am reading You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth.  That’s why when Jennifer told me I was “Amazing” it felt like a nod and a wink from God.  I would love for you to join me in reading this awesome book about grace and finding freedom in believing we are who God says we are.  Today is the last day to enter the giveaway.   

Mulligan Monday

golf-course

As I was watching the US Open this weekend with my husband, I gave thanks that I am not a professional golfer.  There’s no grace in professional golf. ( Anyone else get a visual of Tom Hanks shouting “There’s no crying in baseball!”?  Just me?)  The first, and only, time I played golf with my husband, he showered me with grace in the form of mulligans – several of them.  I was shocked the first time I realized that in professional golf, the players do not get such a gift.

But like I said, I’m no professional golfer.  So today, I declare this day to be a Mulligan Monday.  I started an at home workout program on May 12th.  It’s a reasonable workout – as little as 10 minutes if I don’t want to warm-up or cool down and it’s as challenging as I make it.  During the first four weeks of doing the program I missed a day each week for one reason or another.  Most people would say that having newborn twins is reason enough.  But now that I know that the best time for me to work out before they even wake up, I really don’t have an excuse not to get it done.

With the exception of the night David Sr., David Jr., and I all tried Rev Abs, I took all last week off.  I decided to use the time to regroup. I wanted to come up with realistic strategies to help me meet the goal of working out each day.

Strategy #1: Visual reminder – I drew up a crude calendar for the next four weeks and taped it up on the wall next to our television. I plan to put a check mark, or a sticker if I ever get around to organizing the teaching supplies I brought home, every time I complete a workout.  My prayer is that having the calendar right next to the TV will serve as a great reminder, not just for me, but also for my motivation squad – David Sr. and Junior.  For every completed week, I will be rewarding myself, not with food, but by buying some of the ingredients I need to make homemade sunscreen.  I’ve totally fallen down the rabbit hole with this whole DIY healthy and natural skincare thing.  (See “No Filter” if that last sentence left you scratching your head)

Strategy #2: Accountability – As soon as I log my workout on my calendar, I will report to my online accountability group.  I set an alarm on my phone to go off during the twins’ “big” nap to remind me to report to the group.  It will also serve as a push and shove for me to work out just in case I haven’t gotten around to it by that time.

Strategy #3: Eliminate excuses – I will keep clean workout gear downstairs, close to the TV room, or in it when possible.  This includes my workout clothes, yoga mat, shoes, and socks.  I am easily distracted, so I’m more likely to start and complete my workout if I do not have to travel upstairs to get my workout necessities.

The beauty of a Mulligan Monday, or any day of the week for that matter, is that there’s no need to wait for New Year’s Day or the first of the month to “start over”.  However, we do need to be careful to not abuse the gift of the do over.  It’s not really a do over if we are continuously starting over.  If we find ourselves constantly starting over, there’s a really good chance we never earnestly started in the first place.  When we notice this happening, it’s best to take a step back to identify our goals, get our priorities in check, make a game plan, and then implement it.

Are you in need of a Mulligan Monday?  In what specific area of your life?  I’d love to walk with you on your journey to wholeness.  Let me know how I can pray with and for you.  Feel free to email me at floyds07@gmail.com if you don’t feel comfortable commenting below.

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