We throw off the lie of perfection and cling to our identity in God as we strive to be whole, healthy, and fit. Our goal is wholeness, not perfection.

Posts tagged ‘mom of boys’

Are You a Grownup or Adult?

I was a little thrown off guard when my seven year old asked me Saturday afternoon, “Are you a grownup or adult?”  I wasn’t sure what to think of the question at first.  So I asked for clarification “What do you mean?”  He went on to show me the book he was reading (one of the many Captain Underpants books he’s gotten from his school library) and there was a picture of a presentation type poster board showing that “Adults = three peanuts” and “Grownups = one screw + one baseball”.  There was no further explanation given, but he knew there must be a difference between being an adult and a grownup since his book used both terms.

To be honest, I kind of recoiled in shock when he used the word grownup.  I think I audibly gasped when he suggested that I might be one.  I don’t know if you’ll agree with my explanation or not, but this is how I broke it down for him.  

An adult is responsible but still a kid at heart.

A grownup takes themselves too seriously and has forgotten how to have fun.

Jesus compares the kingdom of God to the faith of a child.  For me, faith involves childlike imagination, risk, and humble dependence.  Grownups trade in optimism for cynicism and call it being pragmatic.  Maybe I’m over thinking it.  Maybe I’m reading into it too much.  While everyone should aspire to be a responsible, contributing member of society, I believe everyone should strive to remain a child at heart.  That’s my goal at least.  


First Day Of Daycare

I officially return to work tomorrow.  The twins are starting daycare today, though.  We are trying to create a new routine so our mornings are as stress free as possible.  Also, I need a day to be away from them before I have to be at work all day.  Although I’m not dreading returning to work as much as I was, say three weeks ago, I still feel I have a bit of mourning left to do.  Today will be an opportunity to process this new chapter without the fear of crying in front of my colleagues.

My prayer today, and every day for the foreseeable future, is that when I get choked up by thinking of them, that God would replace my sorrow with gratitude and joy, and that I can live each day intentionally, as to not waste any time I get to spend with them, our oldest son, or my husband.  I will also pray that God allows me to leave the world of 8-5 (fellow teachers, let’s just all make believe for the sake of this post, okay?) so I can be as present in the lives of my children as my heart desires.

I'll Miss These Smiles

I’ll Miss These Smiles

ps – I’ve got no idea what we’re supposed to pack for the boys, so as soon as I finish my PiYo workout I will be calling to get that info.  So much for today being a stress free morning.

You’re Already Amazing Monday: Intro

In her introduction to You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be, Holley Gerth invites me to pull up a chair so she can share a secret with me.  It is a secret so profound, that when I read it, I exhale deeply and my whole body relaxes.  “You don’t have to be more, do more, have more.”

YAA Intro

My whole life I’ve struggled to feel like I’m enough – Smart enough.  Articulate enough.  Funny enough.  Sweet enough.  Attractive enough.  Strong enough.  Brown enough.  Bilingual enough.  Ethnic enough.  Enough for you to accept me into your circle.  Enough for me to feel like I belong.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve experienced a great deal of freedom in these areas.  But every now and then a small voice will hiss, asking me, “Are you sure you’re ______ enough?”

Just when that doubt starts creeping in, Holley speaks encouraging, empowering truth over me – “You’re a daughter of God, a holy princess, a woman created with strengths you’ve yet to fully grasp and a story that’s still being written by the divine Author himself.”  Whoa.  I believe I am a daughter of God.  So much so that it’s the first thing I write in any “about me” space of social media.  And I know my story is still being written because, well, I’m still here.  But a holy princess?  The mom of three boys who is ecstatic to get a shower before supper?  The wife who does her best but can’t seem to keep both the kitchen table and counters clean at the same time?  I have strengths I have yet to fully grasp?  I’m praying they include time management, staying organized, and budgeting.

But here’s where Holley had me hooked, eager to read more – “And if you really take hold of who you are and what you’re called to do, there will be no stopping you.  That’s because there’s no stopping him in you – and he’s got bigger plans for your life than you’ve even imagined.”  This quote ignites a fire in me because I know this season of my life is boot camp – preparing me for God’s next assignment for me, for what I’m called to do.  But there’s a lot of fear involved in knowing that this season will end.  There’s safety sticking around boot camp and not having to go into battle.  But the second sentence of the quote has me wanting to suit up and fight because it’s my life verse: With God’s power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20 NCV)

Whether you’ve read the book before or not, I hope that you’ll join me every Monday to recap each chapter and share what it means in real life to embrace who we are and trusting God to mold us into who He created us to be.

Play Ball! (6/24/13)

My xis year old son, DJ, played in his first kickball game yesterday.  I had the pleasure of refereeing the game.  The game was our opening event for anew ministry at church – Fit for Jesus.  But that’s a blog entry for another day.

The players’ ages ranged from 5 to 12 years, with two 17 year olds as captains.  It was the most beautiful display of organized chaos I have had the honor to direct in quite some time.  The three adults present, myself being one of them, assumed that every child knew the rules of kickball.  Even if they had never played before, they had seen, or participated in baseball before.  Right?  We must have all thought that because we kept saying “It’s just like baseball”.

We (the adults) would intermittently need to yell “Time!” in order to explain, and in several instances re-explain, the basic rules of the game.  I must admit that it was very difficult to control my tongue and tone and not sarcastically ask, “Really, y’all?  Didn’t you hear us JUST explain what happens when someone catches a fly ball?”

The first couple of innings DJ didn’t get to kick because he was seventh or eight in the lineup.  A sense of pride swelled up inside of me when he finally stepped up to the plate.  His first kick was a strike.  He made contact with his second and took off running.  Unfortunately, it was a foul and he had to return to home.  But his third kick was good and I cheered for him while he ran to first.  With the next player’s play, DJ was able to advance to second.  While at second he couldn’t contain his excitement.  He danced on top of second plate, and again when he made it to third.  The third out took place before he could make it home.  But he didn’t care, and neither did I.  I enjoyed watching him run from plate to plate and how he danced while waiting at each plate.

During the second to last inning DJ scored his first run ever in a kickball game.  I called his name from across the field and we gave each other a long distance air high-five.  Now before you cry favoritism, I cheered on all the kids.  I may not have given them all a long distance high-five, but hey, it was his first time scoring in a kickball game.

DJ’s team was losing but the game became close during the third inning.  The game ended in the firth with a 16-16 tie.  While several of the kids were disappointed, DJ was pumped. It was his first kickball game and his team didn’t lose.  We lined the kids up and had them do the “good game” walk.

Earlier this morning it dawned on me that ht experience I had watching DJ play in his first kickball game is how God views our lives.  He watches with anticipation as we attempt to do something new for the first time. He cheers us on as that first kick is a strike, and even when the second one is a foul ball.  He screams for us to run when our kick is good.  All the while His heart swells with pride.  Not because we’re doing particularly well, but because we’re enjoying the experience and giving it our all.  And when we look confused about the rules of the game, He doesn’t have to force Himself to hold his tongue or watch His tone.  He doesn’t grow impatient, or become sarcastic.  he lovingly reminds us of His commandments and promises, and pats us on our bottoms as He tells us to get back in the game.

I am stepping up to the plate in my own life, doing things I have never done before – this blog being one of them.  Strike, foul, or home run; win or lose; I will walk in the blessed assurance that my Coach is cheering me on.  He is watching from the outfield, filled with anticipation, His heart swelling with pride simply because I’m giving it all and trusting Him with the outcome.


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